Dating someone with roommates
A., MFT for Your We've all heard the dauntingly horrible statistic: 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Anyone in a long-term relationship knows their partner well enough to have a keen awareness of their hot buttons.No one wants to be a cliché, and everyone wants to find themselves amongst the 50 percent that beat the odds. You used to ask your partner for their opinions on a variety of subjects. In a successful relationship, no one person's needs are more important. They share ideas for how to succeed and envision home and life plans together. In days past, you accidentally pressed them, learned from your mistakes and vowed not to repeat them. When you two were happy and in love, you "dated" each other. Whether it's emotional or physical, you are reaching out to anyone and everyone other than your mate to connect with and feel connected to. You kidnapped cupid and you're holding him for ransom.What if you could identify the biggest indicators before it was too late? Would you seize the moment, even if it meant taking an unpleasant look at the reality of your relationship and digging in to repair the damage? Everything from what you should do about your difficult boss to what plans you'll make for the weekend. The ease of give and take has been replaced with playing "Tit for Tat", and you actively keep mental notes on how much you are contributing versus how much your partner isn't. Your desires are equally considered and equal attempts are made to bring them to fruition. Roommates take on singular projects with no respect or thought towards the other person in the house. Today, you press them with full awareness, and you like it. You did all the little things that kept the romance alive. You brought home the dessert from that little café you know they love. Now, you see your mate as a ball and chain instead of the hot date you used to roll out the red carpet for. People joke that you stop having sex when you get married because you no longer "have to." But the truth is that often times, people stop having sex when they start losing the positive feelings towards their mate. Conversations with your mate seem futile and exhausting.
As tension sets in, you blindly interact with your mate without giving them your presence of mind.
Your mindfulness has been replaced with fantasies of your new life, away from your partner.
If you're determinedly shaking your head in agreeance, that's a flashing yellow light that trouble is brewing.
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